Petri's Place: Don't F@#K With 'Possums

April 9, 2024

Seedy Underbelly Of Old Wives Tales

Remember that Netflix docuseries about cats a few years ago that we all binged?

Not the Tiger King, the other one. Don't F''k With Cats: Hunting An Internet Killer.

The internet sleuths had one rule, "Remember rule zero: don't f''k with cats." - Deanna Thompson.

I'm not saying we're about to go down a true crime rabbit hole but I do have some stuff to get off my chest, I'm one mad 'possum mama.

First Of All...

Most of the problems with the rehab world stem from ignorance of humans. Our knowledge is tainted with bulls@#t from our elders. And theirs from their elders.

The B.S. from old wives tales, urban legends, superstitions and other delusional nonsense spread generation after generation.

I believe most of these were started so that kids would be scared of the animals and not try to catch them and bring them inside, not go out in the woods and get eaten by a bear or be kidnapped. They probably stemmed from running out of ways to get children to listen to their parents and not get dead.

However, considering we have every piece of knowledge available at our fingertips in a split second now days, the fact that most of this crap is still repeated means only one thing.

People are idiots.

I said what I said, don't come for me.

My Grandma Told Me...

Granny was wrong.

They're not rodents, they don't chase you down, they don't murder kittens and for the love, they don't carry rabies.

Before you try to hit me with a rebuttal, first use the Googs and make sure you understand what CARRYING rabies actually means.

Opossums are not a vector species so they don't carry rabies. No matter who told you differently, they don't. It's science. On top of that, their body temperature is too low and is an unsuitable habitat for rabies if they should happen to be introduced to rabies.

And can we not with the rodent thing? Opossums are marsupials. Marsupials are not rodents. Opossums are related to the kangaroo and koala, not rats.

They're shy and don't really want anything to do with humans, (same bro...) but because they're considered ugly, they MUST be dangerous.

Why am I carrying on about this?

This absolute garbage that is spread about opossums causes people to act a fool on a daily basis. Believing the misconceptions and creating stories to fit the "nuisance" narrative is also costing opossums their lives.

Meet Tech 9

Not to be confused with Tech N9ne, these nine little five week old opossums babies have an unfortunate origin story.

This is why I'm so mad.

One Man's Trash

We've all heard "one man's trash is another man's treasure" right? I believe it means that there are things one may throw out that another may see value in. It doesn't say anything about your garbage being more important than life.

Vent incoming.

Imagine my surprise when a grown man called to ask if I could take in some baby opossums whose mama had died. I ask the basic questions that I always do and inquired whether he knows how the mama died.

Almost every day its a dog attacked the mama or mama was hit by a car. Pretty standard this time of year.

Not this call though. This time the answer was he shot the mama because she was getting into his trash.

He shot the opossum because it was getting into the trash.

Breathe.

All I could think about was "don't get cancelled, don't get cancelled"...meaning if I got hot, this guy could get on social media or call the state or SOMETHING to get me cancelled because he got his feelings hurt after telling him off.

Breathe.

Somehow I pulled it together long enough to end the call and text him my address.

Luckily, I was in a drive thru when his wife came with the babies. Yeah, he sent his wife.

I can't even. I've lost the ability to even.

Misunderstood Marsupial

Opossums have a bad reputation because of what humans spread as knowledge.

They don't want to mess with people but when they need to feed their babies, just like you, they'll do what they need to do.

Nine times out of ten it was another animal that knocked over the trash, took off the lid or tore open the bags. But an opossum gets blamed.

Why not move the trash cans so animals can't get to them? Keep the lid on, get locking lids, use bungie cords.

Put trash bags in the can instead of next to them.

There are all kinds of ways to be a better human than to shoot an animal for getting into your garbage.

"Animal people are nuts, man. They're all crazy." - John Reinke, Tiger King

This isn't a call to action for opossum lovers to go after the jerks that think they're just "dirty rats", but I'm not stopping you either.

For you "dirty rat" people:

Keep your dogs on leashes when out of your yard so they can't grab other animals and maul them to death
Get your trash situation figured out
Watch for them in the roads at night and stop hitting animals on purpose
Stop putting out poison for rodents because other animals will eat the poisoned/dead ones and also die

And if you have a rat problem, clean your mess.

Be better.

Or the 'possum people will come after you with the same energy Deanna and her friends went after the kitty killer.