S#@t Rehabbers Get Calls About: Petri's Place Edition

S#@t Rehabbers Get Calls About: Petri's Place Edition

Thank you for calling Petri's Place...

Normally when I answer calls...

The sink is running, animals are screaming, someone is bleeding (probably me), a cage is open, a baby is in my hands and there's a lot going on. 

I'm doing my best. 

Rehabbing is hard enough as it is when you consider I'm doing this without funding, a salary, a nice big facility and I've got minimal volunteers. 

Folks I'm not complaining, I'm setting the stage - stay with me...

Now add in what I'm not posting on social media about all the animals that come in and sadly don't make it. 

Sleepless nights, being bitten by the terrified or unruly guests (not the volunteers, although I'm not ruling that risk out), bills piling up and more animals than I have capacity for are coming in constantly. 

THEN there are the ridiculous calls I get day and night. 

Buckle up. 

All of the stories below are real, I can't make this stuff up. 


Obviously I'm not going to use real names or identifiers but I sure as hell am not going to gloss over the juicy parts. 

Caller: I found a rat snake in my pool house.

Rehabber: I'm sorry, we don't take reptiles, only mammals.

Caller: It's a rat snake. Rats are mammals. 

Come again??


Caller: I found a baby bird and I it's wing is broken.

Rehabber: I'm sorry, I don't rehab birds. 

Caller: I thought you loved animals - hangs up


Caller: On my way to work I hit something and when I got home I realized it was a raccoon and he's stuck in my grill. Can you come get him out? 

That's going to be above my pay grade. 


Caller: Do you have monkeys?

Rehabber: No we don't take in monkeys, those are not native species. 

Caller: Well can you help me get one? I need one. 

Folks, I get a lot of calls for monkeys. No, I don't sell monkeys. 


Caller: I can bring it but I can't be giving you money since you're making me drive all the way to you. 

Rehabber: We work off of donations, we don't have a fee. 

Caller: You shouldn't be guilting people for money since you decided to do this and make people bring them to you. 

Kill me now. 


Caller: I found a baby something, I want to keep it, can you lend me the cage and supplies until I can release it. 

Rehabber: No.

What the hell?


Caller: There's a raccoon in my yard and I think it's really sick. It can't lift it's head and its falling down trying to walk. It's been this way almost two days, it's very sick. 

Rehabber: You need to call animal control to have it picked up and tested in this county. 

Caller: I'm willing to adopt it. 

That's not how this works. 


Caller: If you don't come pick this animal up it's going to die! Are you just trying to kill it?


Folks, I don't pick up animals. There's no way possible to handle that. Somehow when a baby is found all of a sudden no one in the county has a car.

But, on the off chance I get suckered in and go out on the call - I'll be damned there's at LEAST one car in the driveway. 

It's always the same: 

"I don't have a car."

"I don't drive."

"I'm home alone with my kids." (but have a car!!)

"I can't touch animals." (is holding a chihuahua when I get there)

"My spouse said they carry disease and I'm not allowed to touch it." (just keep the animal and turn in your spouse)

"If you don't come get it, I'll just have to shoot it."

Texts at 2AM after 3 calls I let go to voicemail - "Why do you publish your number if you're not going to answer?"

Seriously, the same site you found my number lists my hours. 

Not every call is a disaster.  

Andrew the opossum has a fun origin story.  

Determined, they went back and finally found the little booger in the restroom. After an employee had been in there and missed him altogether. 

When the Horacio 5 were delivered it turned out another was found. It was placed in a shoebox for safe keeping but when I got to the meeting place, the finder texted that the opossum was gone. 

"It must have escaped."

Under my breath..."was it's name Camilla?"...

 *Camilla, not pictured, is the Petri's Place escape raccoon. 

One of my favorite type of calls to take are those that educate the public. 

Passing along knowledge about these wild neighbors is critical for our co-existence and rewarding for me at the same time.

Still, maybe not at 2AM, mmkay?

Personally, even though I know more than half the time I answer I'll be yelled at or hung up on...

I still try to answer as often as possible because I understand the caller is probably overwhelmed. 

Animals lovers feel for these critters so deeply and what I do helps ease the anxiety around the situation. 

For those callers that yell at me, try to guilt me or just hang up...karma. 

I'm kidding (sort of), I hope you find the information you need for the sake of the animal.  

The point of this story was, I'm truly doing everything I can with what I have. 

To take in more animals, I need to bring in more money, supplies and volunteers. 

That's how this works. 

Soooo, want to help a sister out???

Here's How Can You Help:

Every dollar, wish list item and volunteer hour helps. 

Make A Donation: www.fundthewild.com (one time or reoccurring donations)

Purchase From Our Wish Lists: 



Additional Petri's Place Support: www.petrisplace.com

Buy our merch!! - www.petrisplace.com

Buy Trash Cat Coffee: www.trashcatcoffee.com

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